Feeling resistant to write. Feeling more like observing, and letting my sense of smell, touch, and sight bring me present to those things that want to show themselves. Maybe I am the thing that wants to be seen. Maybe I want to show myself, displaying my essence in peacock splendor.

Loving the feel of the breeze, the air on my skin, in my hair; the smell of heat and dirt insinuating themselves through the cool, shade-laced leaves. Wanting love and sex and sensuality, and that joyous feeling of intimacy. So I allow the air to kiss my skin, rouse my senses, and ruffle the imaginings hanging from my lips. Stirring me inside, stroking me outside, whirling around me, and upward into the sky.

I no longer have such a true compass as to what is up or down - sea and sky, earth and water. Where am I in the cosmos? Wanting human connection. And still the air supports me, pressing against my skin; against my being like an old friend, or lover, or child leaning into me. And the air tickles my hair and rustles the leaves. Whispering to all it touches. It’s breathing a kind of sight. Oh to capture the wind! Hold on to its secrets, carrying the wind in our pockets. The trickster wind laughs at such folly. Elusive wind. Chuckling breeze. Terrifying gusts beating story into me.

The steamy summer breeze electrifies me from my dreams.

I feel that drum pulsate through my limbs as I hear my call;

The willows have awoken.

Silky overgrown grass tickles my calves as I leap,

Skipping barefoot in and out of the navy blue shadows,

Rolling through cold waves of the heat hidden in the clearing.

The surrounding willows shade me from harm.

Holding hands and forming a shielding fence

Around this free piece of earth.

I waltz with the stars as they lead me around the dance floor,

Revealing to me that I am loved.

My feet eventually get tired and I stop in the center to sway.

A large breath leaves my lungs

While the whistling breeze weaves down the trees,

Slithers through the wild grass,

And climbs up into my heart.

I am awake finally.

Suddenly, I am alone.

The willows are no longer my protectors.

Instead their bodies now isolate me.

This is not my awakening

But the real dream.

It’s time to flee my haven.

Another night of sweet solitude...


by April Rhodes

My friend just told me about a really cool project called Operation Beautiful. It is run by Caitlin whose mission is to create more  positive self-talk by putting up post-it notes carrying positive messages on the mirrors in public spaces. It is a fun idea and there are some cool ways you can participate. Check out her site and spread the word! 


Artwork by Meadow Rhodes

A long time ago, when I was just a typical, know-it-all teenager, my mother was talking about something that I was not (as usual) listening to, when I heard her say the following statement, “It’s always nice to have options, dear” followed by more of whatever else she was talking about (remember I was a teenager, and therefore only listening to about 25% of what she said!). For whatever reason, on that particular day, my teenage brain let those particular words in, and my body was alerted to their meaning.

Throughout my life, I have held onto that statement in order to open up my thoughts, my actions, and basically my entire life. I may not have always made choices that allowed for the best options; and sometimes I had to choose between the lesser of two evil options, but I never doubted that there was more than one option. No matter how trapped I may have felt from time to time, I always came back to that one idea, “It is always nice to have options.”

As I grew up and had my own daughters, I took that comment my mother made so many years before and repackaged it, telling my children to try to make decisions that create more options in their lives. This has taken many forms, from the practical such as “Get the brown shoes, they go with more” to the more hypothetical, such as “I know you are mad at her, but have you considered...” Always pushing to them to see more sides, to think more openly, to imagine more expansively, to live creatively and emotionally in wide, open spaces full of possibilities.

Recently, a friend grounded this idea more materially for me by bringing my attention to the realm of money and wealth, reminding me to encourage my girls to make smart money choices. As my friend stated so clearly, more money creates more choices and opportunities, both for freedom, and for all the fun things in life: playing, sharing and giving. 

One more thing I tell my girls is to make sure, before making any big decision to always consider all their options because, as a wise woman once said, “It is always nice to have options.” So this year for Mother’s Day, I give thanks to my mom for rambling on to her teenage daughter about who knows what so long ago; and for opening up space so I could latch onto an important piece of wisdom that has helped shape my life, and that I have been able to expand upon and gift to my daughters as their own lives take form.

Artwork by Meadow Rhodes